Bittersweet moments

Such a joy to celebrate Thomas’s 4th birthday today! So many emotions… so proud of him saying ‘wow’ when he got a card and ‘thank you very much’ so enthusiastically for his presents…

I remember back to his birth and the tumultuous hours and days that followed. Me begging the nurses to allow me to take him home from hospital… pleading with them not to do any more blood tests as each one found more and more things wrong with him… the contrasting joy of being able to finally take him home 3 weeks later only to meet the unimaginable sorrow of Jason passing away just 10 weeks after Thomas’s birth.

It’s impossible for these milestones not to be intertwined in such a bittersweet way. Thomas’s birth and Jason’s death. The circle of life playing out in such quick succession.

I know how unbelievably proud Jason would be of his son. Every day is a miracle with Thomas. His determination, his love and his very cheeky laugh are such gifts in our lives. I cherish every moment I have with him.

Thank you to all the friends and family who sang happy birthday to Thomas. It was lovely to see you! Thankfully on zoom from around the world as we wouldn’t have all fitted in the lounge!

(He is much harder to photograph now as he just doesn’t keep still for long enough!)